Goodbye Harry

(This was written on Thursday July 14th, but not immediately published)

It is no secret that I can get very involved in my entertainment choices, be it film or book. Tonight Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 will be released and the illustrious saga will be at a bittersweet end. Tonight Potter fans world over will see the most anticipated movie of the year, and tonight at midnight I will bid goodbye to the eight movies that have punctuated my teenage and adult life.

When Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone was released, I did not have the opportunity to see it until The Chamber of Secrets was already out. But when I saw The Sorcerer's Stone I knew I had come upon something unique and my initiation into the Harry Potter fandom was born. From that point onward, I went to theaters, read books, read reviews, wrote reviews, and eventually made my way to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter where I gleefully drank butterbeer, shopped at Honeydukes, and wandered through Hogwarts Castle. With the passing years and adding the DVDs to the collection and the books to the shelf, I began to simultaneously dread and yet excitedly anticipate the end. The end was inevitable, but having felt by this point that I had grown up with Ron, Harry, and Hermoine, inside I knew there would be a sad goodbye, no matter how the story ended.

The Deathly Hallows hit the shelves, and I procured a copy. My life proved too busy to devote too many evening hours to reading, so I listened to Stephen Fry's audio books while I was at work. I laughed, I wept, and when the last chapter closed, the feelings of satisfaction, relief, and emptiness all lingered. I comforted myself that I still had the rest of the movies to look forward to, yet now I face that end as well and I find that foreknowledge of what is to come from reading the books has only moderately prepared me for the end.

Before I enter the theater and take in the last installment of the franchise that has made cinematic history and spanned over ten years of my life, I would like to say goodbye properly. From the childlike wonder at the curious world of The Sorceror's Stone, to the mortal peril of The Goblet of Fire, to the losses and heartbreak of The Order of the Phoenix, to the drama of The Half-Blood Prince, to the many battles of The Deathly Hallows, and everything in between, I would like to say I will miss the hallowed halls of Hogwarts and growing up with such complex and quirky characters. I will miss all the adventures we have had, the mysteries we have solved, and the lessons we learned along the way, but you can be sure that I will be revisiting these memories often. Thank you to Harry, Ron, Hermoine, Neville, Luna, Ginny, Fred, George, Dumbledore, Snape, McGonagall, Mad-Eye, Sirius, Remus, Tonks, Hagrid, Draco, Dobby, Kreacher, Kingsley, Hedwig, Arthur, Molly, and the staff of Hogwarts for reminding me that even if the road is long, good will always triumph over evil, true friends are worth risking your life for, evil is sometimes dressed in pink, and you are never too old to have some magic in your life.

I bid you all a very fond farewell.

Unknown

This was an easy review to write. I saw this movie because I like Liam Neeson most of the time and he is on my list of older men not to ever mess with. Also on that list is Clint Eastwood because I saw Gran Torino, and Jackie Chan because he is Jackie Chan. Back on topic however, I'll cut to the chase on this review instead of my signature wordy reviews that evaluate every actor in the cast as well as music, camera angles and so on and so forth.

If you have seen The Bourne Identity, you have seen this movie.

That was easy enough. And honestly that's all there is to say about it. Liam Neeson predictably kicks butt, January Jones was clearly medicated at the time of filming, and Frank Langella is (spoiler warning!) not a good guy. If you haven't seen The Bourne Identity, watch that instead of this. Terrible movie? No, but so painfully mediocre it's simply not worth saying more about. You're welcome.

The Hits and Misses of Actor Replacement

     Occasionally it so happens that when sequels or series are made, that a character must be portrayed by an actor other than the original choice. This history of replacement has seen a diverse pattern of successes and failures, such as the following. 

Albus Dumbledore

In the grand Harry Potter series, Richard Harris owned Albus Dumbledore. Harris exuded the grace and wisdom that his character demanded, carrying off the presence and power of a regal wizard without even a half-effort. Following his death after only two movies, another actor had to be cast to take up the mantle of the memorable mentor figure. The choice was British film veteran Michael Gambon. Gambon took the character of Dumbledore in an entirely new direction, giving the Hogwarts Headmaster a personality that was trustworthy, personable, and grounded, but quirky in a manner more consistent with the books. HIT!

Clarice Starling

When Jodie Foster took the role of Clarice Starling for The Silence of the Lambs, it was hard to believe that anyone could ever fill her petite shoes after the now legendary chemistry with Anthony Hopkins. Anthony Hopkins returned for the sequel Hannibal, Jodie Foster did not. The character was portrayed by Julianne Moore instead. Julianne Moore was not Jodie Foster, but it worked in her favor not to imitate her predecessor when her scenes with Anthony Hopkins proved every bit as electrifying. HIT!

Rachel Dawes

Bruce Wayne does not have a reputation of picking particularly level-headed women as love interests, so the character of Rachel Dawes was a breath of fresh air to the Batman franchise when she debuted in Batman Begins. The character was written specifically for Katie Holmes, and when she could not reprise her role in The Dark Knight, Maggie Gyllenhaal filled in. Gyllenhaal's Rachel just didn't cut it, and the character fell flat, failing to be convincing in her most important moment. MISS!

James Bond

 On second thought I'll leave this one alone because the character has been played by so many actors and has seen its fair share of hits and misses. For the record, I maintain that Daniel Craig is a HIT.

Jack Ryan

Tom Clancy¹s classic American hero has eased in and out of action movies of the 90's like our very own James Bond, his shoes being filled by no less than three popular actors. The Hunt for Red October saw a young Alec Baldwin holding his own opposite the ever-incomparable Sean Connery. The Hunt for Red October went on to become a classic, but Alec Baldwin did not go on to become the golden boy. The next string of Jack Ryan movies were carried by action hero Harrison Ford, who brought Patriot Games, Clear and Present Danger, and other such intrigue and adrenaline flicks to the big screen. As Ford aged however, Jack Ryan's popularity began to fade and it was decided that someone younger and more popular was needed to reboot interest in Clancy's hero. Ben Affleck was cast for The Sum of All Fears and we haven't heard from Jack Ryan since.

Alec Baldwin to Harrison Ford: HIT.

Harrison Ford to Ben Affleck: MISS.

Col. Rhodes "Rhodey"

Forever doomed to be seen as Tony Stark/Iron Man's sidekick, Rhodey still has an important part to play in Tony Stark's life. While Iron Man 2 had disappointments throughout the overrated sequel, the greatest letdown was replacing Terrence Howard with Don Cheadle. Don Cheadle is a fine actor, but he was miscast in the role as Rhodey, and the rapport between Rhodey and Tony that fueled the dialogue of the first Iron Man film was painfully absent. MISS!

Tangled

Disney has an unparalleled record for successfully reimagining fairy tales and literature and twisting them into shorter, usually somewhat lighter versions of their original forms, throwing in arbitrary musical numbers and animals with unnatural friendliness and understanding of their human companions. Disney's newest submission to the fairy tale extreme makeover is the classic tale of Rapunzel, retold in trendy 3D but complete with the usual doses of singing, dancing, young complicated romance, and strange animals.

The fact that this particular tale was released in 3D as an option is of no appeal to me personally, as I still view the 3D trend as an overrated gimmick to boost the number of theater-goers and weasel a few more dollars out of the customers. That is not to say that the film was done sloppily, merely that the addition of the 3D neither added nor subtracted from the experience altogether. Now that's out of the way, the review can begin.

"Rapunzel" is a popular enough tale that any retelling of it would need to be new and inventive, and Disney accomplished this quite well. For starters, Rapunzel's hair is not just immeasurably long, but magical with healing powers that are released through a song. Why? This is going to sound ridiculous, but it's really not that bad onscreen. Because a magical flower was used to heal her mother during childbirth and the plant's healing properties were transferred to the child. Hence Rapunzel's upbringing by the witch is not part of an obscure bargain (as in the original Grimm tale), but as a result of kidnapping. Predictably, the witch longs to be her younger self and uses the power of Rapunzel's hair to restore her youth. Rapunzel herself is completely unaware of how she is being used by the wench whom she knows as her mother. Another difference to the old tale is that Rapunzel, not her suitor, is royalty.

The three characters that this retelling concerns itself with are Rapunzel, Mother Gothel, and Flynn. Rapunzel is a lively young woman who entertains herself with art and song day in and day out with none for her companion but a silent though expressive chameleon named Pascal. Unlike some of her princess predecessors, Rapunzel is not particularly rebellious (no matter how justifiable it might seem) and has bundles of energy and spunk. She falls somewhere between the sheltered but opinionated Ariel (from The Little Mermaid) and the sweetness and loyalty of say, Belle (of Beauty and the Beast). Despite her being a blonde, Rapunzel is well aware of the world outside her tower and longs to see it, but remains obedient to the wishes of her unreasonable "mother." Even when she finally ventures outside the tower, she experiences extreme (albeit comical) mood swings ranging from despairing guilt to jubilant glee over defying her mother's wishes.

Mother Gothel is the kidnapping youth-loving witch who looks like Cher. For the most part she doesn't seem all that formidable, and come to think of it, I don't recall seeing her even use magic other than the mystical song that releases the flower power (which sounds so much worse when I say it that way). As a villain, Gothel is not particularly precarious, mostly just annoying, working manipulative "mother knows best" and "because I love you" angles as her greatest power. But she is a woman scorned and we all know what they say about that.

Flynn on the other hand brings an interesting life to the film. Flynn is easily one of the most unique heroes Disney has ever produced for a fairy tale remake. Unlike Prince Philip, Prince Charming, or even Prince Eric who all fit the perfect mold of having little or no character and almost no purpose other than to be one for the heroine to fall in love with, Flynn is a bit of a rascal. He's a self-important cad and thief who is initially motivated strictly by personal gain, trying more than once to talk Rapunzel out of her quest. Predictably, he changes his mind along the way, but he never loses his cad-like qualities or sarcastic cocked eye-brow attitude. In the climax, Flynn proves himself willing to put aside his self-centered ways and make a sacrifice for the girl he comes to love.

All in all, this is not a typical fairy tale retelling, and that's a compliment. The quirky characters and creative changes from the source material make for an entertaining and enjoyable if predictable Disney movie experience, complete with singing, dancing, and well-timed comic relief.

In Honor of the Great Cliches

     After a recent viewing of the unimpressive and highly predictable Prince of Persia: Sands of Time, it struck me that surely no one besides Prince Dastan was surprised that the king’s brother Nizam was the villain. Indeed, if Ben Kingsley were your uncle, and your father was a king who was mysteriously murdered, wouldn’t uncle Ben be the first person you’d suspect? It doesn’t matter how nice he seems. He’s the king’s brother, he stands to gain the most from the king’s murder, and he’s Ben Kingsley, which 9 times out of 10 has to mean villainy. Clearly, Prince Dastan needed to see The Lion King or read Hamlet. Prince of Persia abounded in adventure cliches, including the prophetic but feisty woman who knows everything and can really kick butt even though she looks like she wouldn’t want to break a nail. Or in this case smudge her tan. It doesn't seem to matter how much the woman might want to kill the protagonist, she never succeeds, and always ends up turning that bloodlust into a different kind of passion.

The predictable clichés of The Prince of Persia inspired me to evaluate the clichés that abound in movie entertainment, not just the adventure genre. Call it what you will, but here are the great clichés that you know if you've seen them once, you've seen them a thousand times.

1. The Genius Child-- I would posit that any role played by Abigail Breslin fits this category, but she's not the only one. Dakota Fanning seems to have had this one a few times, McCauley Culkin, and so on. Kids are smart and I'm not denying that since I used to be one such child (a know-it-all), but even those young moldable minds have limits and are not nearly as common as Hollywood would have us believe. I believe in prodigies as shown in August Rush or Searching for Bobby Fisher, but those films also portray how rare these types are while others don't

blink twice at children who have a thorough knowledge of legislation, psychology, computer hacking, or life in general.

2. The Evil Clergyman- This is not to say that every single clergyman who appears onscreen is a ridiculous legalist, a disgusting pedophile, or a radical crusader, but Hollywood has not been kind to priests and pastors in general. If not evil, then at the very least weak is standard.

3. The Wise Homeless Guy- although this particular cliché is not nearly as common anymore, it has been around for a long time. Apparently living on the streets as a homeless bum turns one into a philosopher and a life counselor.

4. Walking Away from a Grand Explosion- Thanks to a song performed by Andy Sandberg, Will Farrell, and JJ Abrams, we have the song "Cool Guys Don't Look at Explosions" to prove the point. Click here to see the montage of movies that have used this gimmick. But think about it, if there's an explosion, whoever is responsible will callously walk away, never even flinching at the exploding inferno.

5. "Grew up on a farm," "Dad was in the military," or similar excuses given to explain why a petite cute lady or supermodel is an expert in the handling of massive firearms. I grew up in Africa but I don't slay wild beasts or know a variety of weaponry. My parents are missionaries, but I'm not a theologian.

6. The Romantic Monologue- Personally I like monologues and blocks of one-sided dialogue, but they rarely deliver in a romantic scenario. It's not to say it never works, but it is a little worn out. The "you were right" speech, the "it's always been you" speech, and so on and so forth. They've all been done in a variety of settings. But even people that aren't familiar with the origins of, for example, "You complete me" and "You had me at 'hello'" (both are from Jerry Maguire by the way) have heard those lines, not the long speech that led up to them. True that a movie composed entirely of memorable one-liners would be nothing short of disastrous, but the theatrical monologue that wins back the love interest-- it's been done more than a few times.

7. The Crazy Christian- It goes hand in hand with the evil clergyman cliché. This one tends to be a neighbor who is usually a middle-aged judgmental woman who shuns all delights of life and calls everything sin, condemning her neighbors to hell for things like going to the prom. Every now and then you'll even get the extremist who doles out "holy" justice in some twisted perversion of basic moral convictions. They also usually have deep southern accents, and have no concept of basic fashion post-1950.

8. The Kick-Butt Woman- Thank you Lara Croft. At least Lara Croft of Tomb Raider fame had some experience in the field of hard living. This one usually does tend to be more of the action/adventure genre, where realism is not of foremost concern anyway, which is probably why movies keep getting away with this cliché. Seriously though, even Angelina Jolie (the go-to woman for this type of role) can only take down so many war-trained bulky men in hand-to-hand combat before it becomes... ridiculous. Prince of Persia tried this one too as did the unfortunate Pirates of the Caribbean sequels and plenty of others. 

9. The Jerk Fiancé/Significant Other-- This stock character is likely to be found in a movie with a love story because it creates conflict. But you have to wonder what the character who will inevitably ditch this person ever saw in them in the first place.

10. The Big Secret Hideout that No One Knew About- It's in the mountains, in the forest, in the bottom of a lake, or deep within a cave. How could no one know about it? The villain couldn't have built it all by himself. People had to build it, and they couldn't all have become the henchmen of the villain who commissioned the order. Unless the villain had a small country at his command who are loyal to a vow of absolute secrecy, it's unlikely he just happened to have henchmen that had the skills to build a fortress. If the villain killed all the workers, someone would have noticed that too. Someone somewhere knows about it.

There's a reason that these have lasted as long as they have-- these things became clichés because they were bankable gimmicks. That is why this note is called "In Honor of the Great Clichés." These particular ten have been used and used again, and are guaranteed to still be milked continuously-- but it makes me appreciate creativity. With the summer movie season just around the corner and plenty of comic book movies and adventure flicks on the way, it's safe to assume that the great cliches will be alive and well.

True Grit

This year's surprising Oscar nominee True Grit is a remake of an old John Wayne classic of the same name, unseen by me. Last time a western was nominated for Best Picture at the Academy Awards, it was Brokeback Mountain, also unseen by me, unless you count No Country For Old Men, which I don't. Granted, the Western is not the most frequented genre and there seem to be maybe one or two Westerns each year, which makes the likelihood of one being recognized by the Academy exceptionally narrow. Yet somehow this uncharacteristic submission by the Coen brothers Joel and Ethan managed to grab the attention critics as well as audiences, earning praise even from loyalists of the original film.

The original John Wayne version of the now famous film won the Duke an Oscar for his portrayal of Rooster Cogburn. Meaning no disrespect to the Duke, I find it hard to believe that even John Wayne could have done a better job with Rooster Cogburn than Jeff Bridges has done in the remake-- a performance which earned him an Academy nomination, but no gold (that honor went to worthy opponent Colin Firth for The King's Speech). That is not to say however, that Jeff Bridges did not carry off the role in superb style or was in any way undeserving of the honor of being considered for the best performance of the year.

Bridges brings Cogburn to life with such pristine realism, one can almost smell him. Bridges portrays Cogburn with perfect dramatic and comedic timing, owning every word that slurs. He always seems to be in varying stages of intoxication or at the very least coming out of a hangover, but clearly is not without his moments of contemplation and revelation. While he starts out as merely a calloused mercenary marshal, his closing scenes reveal a deeper heart than concern for just monetary gain. Furthermore, even in his moments of seemingly drunken staggering, he effectively communicates that he is not a man to be toyed with, and has very little moral center preventing him from shooting first and asking questions later-- which he does a few times. Yet for all his lack of sobriety and seemingly careless behavior, you can’t help but care about Rooster Cogburn as he begins to care more about Mattie and her personal mission.

Part of what makes True Grit a compelling story despite its slow narrative pace is the unlikely combination of characters thrown together and rolling unsteadily along like a broken wheel. Central to the story is fourteen year old Mattie Ross, who is determined to find her father’s killer and bring him to justice. She is feisty, outspoken, reckless, and naïve in her perceptions of the world. Relatively unknown young actress Hailee Steinfeld gives Mattie Ross a controlled but passionate center that brings both emotion and humor to this trail story. Emotion because it is her drive to find her father's killer that births the story, humor because of the stark contrast she is to both Marshal Cogburn and the ranger LeBoeuf. Mattie is obviously an earthy young woman with a simple black and white understanding of right and wrong-- a view which means that Mattie has no qualms whatsoever about shooting her father's killer if she ever finds him. Because her personal quest is (in her view) in the name of justice that failed to be carried out, she never falters or stops to wonder about the implications of killing a man. While her purpose was actually to track down Chaney and bring him to trial, she proves that she is prepared to take matters into her own hands if the situation demands it.

The only other character given significant screen time is Matt Damon's LeBoeuf, who serves more or less as comic relief. Not that anyone would want to push him too far, as he is a decent shot, but his general purpose here is to be the character who seems to exit the film several times, but keeps coming back to lend a hand or a laugh. The character is a little out of the ordinary for Matt Damon, but as a supporting character he lightens the mood of the scenes he has, and plays well off of Mattie and especialy Cogburn. 

True Grit is by no means a shootout type of western. In terms of plot and writing it is straightforward and relatively unvarying. In this tone of storytelling, screenplay and music play in like unseen characters. Although this tale is set in the old west where saloons are plenty, social rules are blurry, and justice is a romantic dream, there is a shocking lack of grammatical blunders and conjunctions. In the entire film, even murderers utter less than a handful of words like "ain't." Every character speaks in precise tones, making most of them sound like former members of the Georgia aristocracy.  For example, a character is bitten by a rattlesnake. The expected dialogue would be along the lines of "I just been bit!" with a few profanities directed at the snake. Instead, the character declares "I have been bit." On a similar note, when Cogburn and Mattie meet a travelling medicine man wearing a dead bear and carrying a corpse, he asks politely (though with a hint of insanity in his wild eyes) "Are you in need of medical attention?"

In a story centered on travel and living off the land, one somewhat expects sweeping views of the land and memorable music to accentuate the journey of the characters across the rich American terrain. Not so here. Rather, camera shots are fairly stationary with few angles and no celebration of the scenery. As regards the music, the old hymn "Leaning on the Everlasting Arms" runs as a theme throughout most of the film; a curious but appropriate choice. The music and cinematography complement one another and carefully construct a subtle atmosphere around the story that simply works.

In conclusion I find it appropriate to define the word grit. The word grit is synonymous with resolution, fortitude, and courage. In the early stages of the movie Mattie enlists the services of Marshal Cogburn because he has a reputation of having true grit. Cogburn appears to be no more than a washed-up fat old drunk, but by the movie's end, he has proved that he still has grit, and Mattie discovers she has a fair bit of her own. The trail is not easy, the journey is exhausting, but their own true grit pushes them through.

Things I Learned from Horror Movies part 2

It's been over a year since I wrote my list of things learned from horror movies. At this time I would like to revisit this idea, but with a twist. I now give you things to never say in a horror movie scenario, lest they be the last words you ever utter.

"I'll be right back." Whoever says this never comes back. Not alive anyway. Undead, living dead, but never in their original state.

"Did you hear that? Someone should go check it out." And goodbye inquisitive idiot.

"I'll be fine." They never are if they say that; it's overconfidence, and if there's one thing a monster, slasher villain, psycho, or any other horror movie antagonist thrives on, it's overconfidence.

"Is anyone there?" Of course someone or something is there. But they usually won't answer verbally.

"Who's there?" If you've seen Scream, you know this one. If you haven't seen the movie, just don't ask this question. It doesn't end well.

"It's just (fill in the blank: a dog, an old man, one night, around the corner, a book)." It's never just a dog, a spider, a clown, or the wind. Assume worst case scenario.

"What's in here?" I guarantee you it's nothing you want to  know about.

"It can't be him/her!" Sure it can, and it probably is. Cue the next line...

"It's you!" at which point the speaker meets his or her end for having figured out who is responsible for killing the everyone, creating the monster, releasing the monster, and so on and so forth.

"Is that the best you can do?" Of course not. If someone is still alive to utter such lines, it's proof that the antagonist (be it monster, alien, vampire, werewolf, or disturbed truck driver) can in fact do better. Don't taunt them by challenging their abilities.

"It/he/she is dead." Unlikely. Don't get too close.